Excerpt
I leave the meeting and go to Sarah’s house for some rest and relaxation. When she opens the door I smell the briquettes from the grill. She’s been grilling shrimp and scallop kebabs and some T-bone steaks and fresh vegetables. I walk out to the balcony and sit at the table. I clean my plate off immediately and drink a half of a bottle of XO. The steak was so good. I’m literally licking the juices off my fingers. I light up a blunt and lay back until I fall asleep in the comfortable lounge chair on the balcony. Sarah wakes me up with the touch of her hands. The kissing and touching leads us to the master bedroom. I make love to her as if it would be the last time. My sexual encounters with the other woman have been nothing but physical attraction. It’s different with Sarah. I put my soul into the sex when I’m with her. It’s not just fucking when feelings are involved; it’s lovemaking. I care for her more than any other woman except my mother. The love I have for my mother is a different kind of love. I never imagined or had plans on having feelings for any woman especially a white one. I guess love is blind and has no color. I kiss her and squeeze her extra tight as I am coming. After we finish making love, I lie back on a pillow and just gaze at the ceiling.
Sarah asks, “Baby, are you OK? What’s wrong?”
“Why do you think something’s wrong?”
“I’ve never seen you so quiet. You just don’t seem to be in this room with me tonight. It’s like you’re stuck in a daze or something. Talk to me. I may or may not have the ability to help you, but I can always listen.”
“Have you ever thought of where you’d be ten years from now?”
“Of course, don’t we all?”
“I know so many people that are always thinking too far ahead. There’s nothing wrong with planning for the future, but if you can’t get through today then what’s the use?” I wondered.
“You plan for the future just in case you make it through the day.”
“Sometimes, I think I was put on this earth to rid the world of all the weak people. Then I think of all the weak jokers I know, and I know that it’s too large of a task for me to carry out alone.”
Looking confused, she admits, “I don’t understand.”
My beautiful woman companion pays close attention as I continue to explain my position. I grab her right hand, and then I reveal, “I truly believe in fate and that life deals you a hand. Like a game of poker, the biggest bluff or the better hand is going to win. You can only bluff for so long before people find out you’re a fake. When you’ve got the golden hand, you don’t have to bluff because the hand you have is superior to your opponent’s. That’s why you got to always stay ahead in the game.”
“Baby, I don’t believe in fate. I think you’re in control of what happens to you to a certain degree. I don’t care how many vitamins you take or how healthy you are, one day you’re going to die. No one can cheat death. Involving yourself in activities that puts your life in danger is not fate. If you’re killed being a victim of your own shortcomings, then that’s on you.”
“So you think death is the fault of the one dying?”
“No, silly boy, only in certain situations. Like a teenager sneaking out of the house and being hit by a car maybe an unforeseen circumstance” She replied as she lies her back up against my arms and her head against my chest.
“Right! You can’t control that” I exclaimed as if I got the point.
“If they had stayed in like their parents told them, they wouldn’t be dead. Then there’s the thirty-year-old guy on steroids or overweight that has a heart attack. People talk about how young he is and how you just don’t know when your number will be called. They should be talking about how drugs and obesity are serious problems and leading causes of death. I believe that God gives us all the chances and opportunity to seek the righteous way of life if that’s what we want.”
I hug Sarah and smile as I look at her face-to-face, staring into her beautiful blue eyes, and then I ask, “Do you think you’re going to heaven when you die?”
As she nods her beautiful head, I force a large butchering knife through the inside of her throat, cutting in a northern direction through the rear of her skull. The thick blood runs out of her jugular, down the blade, soaking my hands and the bedding. She struggles, trying to speak to me as the shock begins to surface.
I softly speak to her, covering her lips with my blood-soiled hands, whispering, “Shhh. It’s going to be OK. Don’t fight it. Just let it go. All night I’ve been trying to figure out how I can kill the woman I love. If it were up to me, we’d live together forever, but I have a job to do, and business comes before bitches. First, there’s money and then comes everything else. I love you so much. It took everything to have the nerve to follow through with this contract. I should’ve been taking care of you, but I caught feelings.”
Her beautiful blue eyes begin to roll as her pupils dilate, and her breath becomes delayed and harsher. I continue as tears from my eyes roll down my face. Looking down at her, I admit, “Some very well-off people paid me a lot of money to terminate you, and a deal is a deal. I wish we could have met on some other type of circumstances, but this is what it’s come to. If there is a heaven and you are chosen, then you are truly in a better place."
I lay her on the bed and look at her beautiful skin. I’ve never seen a lifeless body look so fine. I walk to the kitchen and slowly loosen the valve from the gas stove. I go back to the bed, light a cigarette, and throw it on the sheets. On the way out through the door, I set the newspaper on the kitchen table on fire. I depart from the condo, leaving Sarah with a kiss on her lips and one of my tears on her cheeks.
Excerpt From: Antonio, Reicko. “Michael Valentine.” Xlibris, 2013-06-17. iBooks.
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